EDGE to Ethiopia
Several weeks ago our caseworker was over for a visit. She had recently visited Ethiopia and we were comparing our travel experiences. Though she stayed at a different guesthouse, she had visited the place where we stayed. At one point she said “I give you credit for staying at the guesthouse you were at. I don’t know if I could have done it.” Apparently, her guesthouse was a little “cushier” than ours!
Now the funny part about this conversation is that our accommodations in Ethiopia never really struck me as that bad. Okay, so there was no carpet in the house. And it was quite cramped with three of us in a pretty small bedroom. And the guesthouse experienced some plumbing issues that week forcing us to share the bathroom part of the time. And the water wasn’t always warm. I guess the more I started to think about it, I realized that our little guesthouse probably would seem a little “quaint” to the average traveling American.
But, you see, I was not the average traveling American. My expectations have been completely warped by several years of volunteering for EDGE–our church’s high school youth ministry. Through many mission trips, weekend retreats, and sleepovers, I’ve been well-conditioned to endure less-than-four-star accommodations.
So without further ado, I thought I’d have a little fun here and present a list:
“The Top Ten Ways Youth Ministry Has Prepared Me For Ethiopian Travels”
- I’ve been awakened by many odd occurrences while on youth group trips, including mischievous teenagers (or was it their leaders?) spreading peanut butter on my face. So waking up at 3 AM to roosters crowing in Ethiopia didn’t really strike me as too odd.
- I’ve grown used to odd bathroom situations, especially on some of the trips I took with the great Niekerk youth group. On several retreats, middle-of-the-night potty breaks would require a trek to another building. On another mission trip, the “shower” was a choice between sticking our heads under a sink inside, or taking our chances outside under a water hose with a thin shower curtain hanging precariously from metal rods to protect our privacy. Our private shower in Ethiopia—though not always warm—seemed perfectly lovely!
- The noises of giggling and chattering from teenage girls have kept me awake ‘til the wee hours of many a morning. Good preparation for the dog fights and street dancing I heard while in Ethiopia. (I’ve learned that withholding Mt. Dew after 9 pm somewhat alleviates the problem of giggling teenage girls… I’m doubtful that strategy works for Ethiopian dogs.)
- In youth ministry, I’ve slept on camp beds, air mattresses, gym floors, and rocky mountaintops under the open air. Simply having a bed in Ethiopia seemed impressive to me.
- On many a youth adventure, I’ve been pushed to the extremes of exhaustion. And, ironically, I also have a horrible time getting to sleep. All that sleep deprivation, while trying to keep up with teenagers, was great training ground for the lack of sleep I had in Ethiopia, this time while trying to keep up with a new daughter!
- Directly related to #5: My faithful fuel for every youth group adventure has been coffee. Ethiopia—coffee’s birthplace—also fed my caffeine addiction so that I could survive the week. With proper caffeine consumption, I can forgive nearly any inconvenience. Sidenote: Does anyone know if there’s a way to get an IV drip of caffeine?
- I’ve scratched my head and struggled to understand teen lingo many a time during youth group trips. (And I’m especially clueless about all the texting abbreviations they use!) Trying to understand the youthful version of English was just training ground for the challenge of deciphering the heavily-accented English of our Ethiopian hosts.
- Through youth ministry, I’ve grown accustomed to the “cozy” transportation method of packing people into a van. On one trip, my seat was actually a 24-pack of water bottles wedged between the real van seats and the side door. The taxi vans we shared with other adoptive families in Ethiopia seemed downright spacious in comparison. (Of course, I will add that the driving of my fellow youth leaders has never made me as nervous as that of our Ethiopian taxi driver. And our youth group has never come within 2 inches of being run over by a steam roller.)
- When teenagers get a little tired and cranky, you can usually brighten up their attitude with some sort of food. A similar strategy works for Ethiopian one-year-olds.
- Here’s the part where I get a little serious: In youth group, I’ve had the pleasure to serve alongside many wonderful people—both adults and teens. Good preparation, I’d say, for the amazing people we spent our time with while in Ethiopia. I know our guesthouse accommodations were modest—I’m not sure they’d earn even one star on the American rating system. But give me good people over the Ritz Carlton any day of the year. (I wouldn’t know how to behave in those fancy restaurants anyway.) I’ll never forgot our incredible Ethiopian hosts–Nesibu and Birtukan–and I would stay at their guesthouse again in a heartbeat, just to savor being around their beautiful hearts.
I truly feel blessed by all the many adventures God has put in my path, both in the U.S. with our youth group and abroad to Ethiopia. I still shake my head at God’s sense of humor: How he took an uptight, anxious, type-A planner like me and plunked me into high school ministry several years ago. . . I can only imagine how the heavenly hosts got a laugh out of that one. And the way he’s constantly challenged me to hand over all my plans, fears, and insecurities to him over the years—without those challenges, I don’t think I’d have ever been able to face the uncertainties and surprises of our Ethiopian adoption journey.
Of course, it hasn’t always felt that great to have God chipping away at my edges (honestly, at times it was more than I wanted to bear). But in the end, I’m grateful because they made it possible for me to be a little more care-free, a little more adventurous, and (I think) a little more fun. And ultimately, it all led to a little girl named Annie. My daughter. My girl. What a ride. I can only imagine where it will go from here.
Play Time!
Okay, I haven’t updated the blog much lately. It’s been a little chaotic around here adjusting to life with a one-year-old and three-year-old in the house! All in all, things are going pretty well. We don’t have a nighttime routine yet, which means lots of night wakings and not-so-much night sleep for the parents here. But it wouldn’t feel right to welcome a new family member without some sleep deprivation, now would it?
One question many people have asked me is how Noah has been with all the adjustments. Honestly, I don’t think I could have asked for a better response from him. He’s been just amazing with Annie. Our biggest issue seems to be his tendency to tackle her over when he’s giving her a hug! I actually think Noah had more behavioral issues BEFORE we left to pick up Annie. Now that we’re on the other side of the trip, I see that some of those problems were just his way of expressing anxiety about all the upcoming changes. Since we’ve been home, I’ve found many of those things have improved, and now he just seems to be enjoying having a sister around. Of course, he steals her toys on occasion and sometimes bumps into her when he’s busy ramming his trucks around. But thankfully, Annie’s still too young to get too worked up about it. (I kind of dread the day she starts fighting back.)
Anyway, enough random musings from me. I just wanted to note that Noah’s been a great big brother and Annie seems pretty taken with him. Here’s a little video of the two of them having some fun together. Enjoy!
Some Snapshots
So it suddenly occurred to me today that I’ve committed a cardinal sin of family blogness: I haven’t posted any pics of Annie here yet! I uploaded a bunch to Facebook this week, and kind of forgot about putting any out here, so my apologies to those of you who’ve been waiting to see our little lady here on the blog.
Without further ado, here are some snapshots of our Ethiopian princess.
Eating some cheerios
What a sweet smile!
Noah's been a great big brother
Brian with the kids
The Tol girls
I love this smirk!
Just relaxing...
In Ethiopia at Last
We made it! I’m drinking a cup of bunna (coffee) as I write this, at the table here in the Morning Coffee Guesthouse. I haven’t had much sleep over the past few nights and everything’s kind of a jumble. But the most important thing to mention is that we got to meet Annie for the first time yesterday. She had lots of smiles for us and is such a cute, little peanut. We’ll be back to the transition house tomorrow and that’s when we’ll pick her up for good and she’ll be spending the rest of the week with us here at the guesthouse.
Our guesthouse is nice. The people who run it are so hospitable. We had coffee AND popcorn within an hour of our arrival yesterday! There are two other Bethany families staying here, which is nice. The language barrier is a little frustrating at times, so it’s nice to have some people to talk with in English!
It’s rather surreal to wake up to noises of Muslim prayer calls and roosters crowing here in the capital city of Ethiopia. It’s a whole different world. Things are overwhelming right now. So much to experience and take in while we’re here. Please continue your prayers for good sleep and health as we enjoy our time in Ethiopia. We’ll try to update more later.
On Our Way
We’re on our way to Africa. Right now we’re sitting in JFK airport waiting to board for our flight to Dubai. We’ll blog more once we get the computer hooked up (we’re writing this from the iPod)
Finally… An Update!
Yes, we’ve been neglecting the blog lately. Horribly so. Please forgive us. But we have good excuses. Really. Consider:
1. We were busy busy with trips this summer. Youth Group Trip. Gatlinburg Trip with Leep Family. Chicago Visit with the Tol Family.
2. We have a home. It needs attention and love - of the “painting the rotting trim on the windows” and “pulling out the Monster Weeds in the flowerbeds” variety. Sweet summer is the optimal time to get it all done, but doesn’t leave much blogging time.
3. We love our church. And God’s blessed us so much through opportunities to get involved. Piano playing. Power pointing. VBSing. Youth Grouping. Orphan Ministering. Wonderful opportunities. But again, it doesn’t exactly leave the blog as a high priority!
4. Work. For both of us. Brian’s now been titled as “Lead Programmer” for 5Q and has been very busy as they juggle many clients. (A blessing during a recession, we know.) And God’s blessed me with many freelance opportunities over the past few months. I’m drinking a lot of early morning coffee at JPs and the Good Earth to get the work in. But we continue to praise God for this way of helping us fund our adoption.
5. Oh, and did I happen to mention that a couple of weeks ago WE GOT MATCHED TO A SWEET BABY GIRL IN ETHIOPIA!!!! (Clever how I saved the best news for last, eh?) We are so very excited and have had a blast sharing the news. I’m guessing most of you who read this have already heard the news, so I won’t go into too many details. But she’s precious. Cute. Huggable. And we can’t wait to bring her home!
I’d love to share pictures, but we can’t right now. To protect the integrity of the Ethiopian adoption program, we can’t post pictures until after she’s home. And we don’t want to mess with that because we’d hate to cause problems with the program for future families who want to adopt!
We also have to be careful about sharing her Ethiopian name online. We’re keeping her Ethiopian name as a middle name, but I can’t share it here. For now, let me just say that we’ve chosen to name her Annalyn “M” Tol. Noah’s already excited to show off pictures of “Annie” as we call her.
We’ll try to be more faithful about updates as we start preparing for our trip and making plans to bring Annie home. It’s just been a crazy balance around here lately, but good. We appreciate prayers for patience as we wait to hear more about Annie and our trip to bring her home. And above all, pleas pray for health, safety, and love for our little girl!
Quick Adoption Update
As you’ve probably noticed, we haven’t had a lot of time for blogging lately. The warmer weather beckons us outside. And even though I’ve been known to take my laptop outside for some fresh air from time to time, I usually end up getting too distracted by truck action in the sandbox to accomplish any real writing.
Since I have a moment this afternoon (read: I should be working on freelance work, but just can’t get in gear!) I thought I’d share a little adoption news.
First, we made a little change to our paperwork last week. For a couple months now, we’ve been thinking about/praying over whether to change our age requirement. We initially requested a 0-12 month baby. But as Noah continues to grow, we’re feeling more open to a little older child, too. So we decided to take the plunge and change our paperwork to say 0-24 months. Of course, we may still end up with a young infant. Or we could be blessed with a mobile toddler to keep us on our toes… (Incidentally, I think Grandma Tol would be in seventh heaven if we end up with a little 24-month lady, as this would mean she can start buying Bitty Baby items sooner!) Basically, we just decided to make the change because we’re open to either option. And now we’ll just wait to see what God has in store.
Second, we’ve continued to hear good news about referrals over the last couple of months. Slowly, our name moves up the list. Right now, the people at the top of the list are those who sent paperwork last July.
So here’s a quiz: Do you remember when we sent our dossier off to Ethiopia? It was last August 11. Which means we’re getting close to the top of the list! I think both Brian and I are starting to get a little impatient with the wait. We’re just feeling more and more anxious to find out who this little person is and bring her home. But as always, we are trying to trust in God’s timing instead of our own.
Thankfully, we have a few “events” coming up to help us through the wait. I leave for a youth group trip to Seattle next week. And Brian will be headed south with Noah for a week’s stay with his parents while I’m gone.
Then, my parents have generously offered to take our family (along with my sibs/nieces/nephew) on a trip in August. Brian will be working, as he wants to save vacation time for our immediate family. But still, it will be a welcome break from our everyday routine.
And somewhat on a whim, we’ve decided to sneak in a little trip for just our little family in mid-September. Brian’s been saving vacation time for the last year and a half because we were never sure when we’d be making the Ethiopia trip. Now, he has enough saved for Ethiopia, and then some. So we though it’d be good to take Noah on a trip and make some family memories before all the adoption adjustments. I’m really quite excited, as we haven’t done any overnight trips with just the three of us since Noah was born.
Hopefully the next trip after that will be Ethiopia! We’ll continue to keep you all updated on adoption news.
Deanowishenzeit and Blenkinsop
This is a two-part post. Let’s call Part One Lucky Draw:
Back before we had Noah, I would marvel at a parent’s ability to understand the proto-English of their toddlers. I’d see a two-year old waddle around church, make some seemingly incoherent phrase, tug on their ear, and be amazed when his or her dad would say “sure, you have have a cookie at Grandmas when we go there Tuesday.”
Cookie? Grandma? Tuesday!?!? All I heard was “okie anders pooses.”
At the time I thought it was love and focused attention only a parent can provide. “Man, what a great dad!” I’d think.
Now I know it’s not as much love as much sheer will power and practice. Lots and lots of practice.
Case in point: A few Sundays ago Amy, Noah and I were hanging out in the living room, playing trucks, Geotrax and blocks. (BTW, Noah loves his Geotrax. Especially in combination with the said trucks and blocks.)
We somehow ended up drawing blocks, trains and other things for Noah on his Doodle Drawer thinger.
“Draw a train, Mommy!” Noah would ask, and Amy would draw a train.
“Draw a truck, Daddy!” And I would draw a truck.
This went on for a while, everything going smoothly, until Noah raised the bar. I guess he thought the $100 and $200 “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” drawings were beneath me and Amy’s ability, so he jumped right to the $1 million demand:
“Draw a Deanowishenzeit!”
Amy looked a me. I looked back at Amy.
“Noah, what’s a Deanowishenzeit?” I asked.
Noah decided not to explain using words, but rather by raising his voice, again asking: “Draw a Deanowishenzeit!”
“Honey,” Amy said, “can you tell us what a Deanowishenzeit looks like?” Noah, again decided use more volume instead of more words.
“Deanowishenzeit! Deanowishenzeit! Draw Deanowishenzeit!”
Well, needless to say, we didn’t have a clue. Was it a train? A plane? A tractor? The answer to life, the universe and everything? (Noah has been coming along with his numbers, so 42 wasn’t out of the question.)
(Mom, go here to get that joke… We’ll wait…)
“Noah, we’re not sure what a Deanowishenzeit is. Can you use your words to tell us?”
“No,” Noah thought, “I will not use my words to tell you. You’re on your own here, folks.”
Well, I think that’s what he must have though, because all we heard was “Deanowishenzeit! Deanowishenzeit! Deanowishenzeit!” He was getting increasingly serious about it, too.
So, not sure how to proceed, I thought I’d go for it. I was going to draw a Deanowishenzeit. And I was going to make it the best darn Deanowishenzeit the world has ever seen.
But where to start, having never actually seen a Deanowishenzeit? Well, luckily Noah’s sphere of experience is relatively small. I was fairly certain Deanowishenzeit wasn’t Grandma or Grandpa. It probably wasn’t a cookie or blankie.
Knowing Noah’s love for all things that have big wheels, I decided it must be a cross between a truck, a tractor and a bulldozer. So I dove in with a tractor-ish thinger with wheels and large black things at the front and back. (Why not, right?)
I ended up with this, my first ever Deanowishenzeit.
I showed it to Noah, and to our great relief, he was very pleased with the result. “Deanowishenzeit! Deanowishenzeit!” he shouted, a great big smile replacing the earlier shouts.
Then he added “Deanowishenzeit, knock over building.”
Knock over building? A light bulb went on in Amy’s head.
“Noah, is that a demolition site?” she asked.
“Yes, a Deanowishenzeit” Noah responded, with a three-year old’s “duh” look in his face.
As it turns out, Noah had not been asking for a tractor-train-truck thinger. He has been asking for the demolition site from one of his Mighty Machines videos.
Practice, folks, it’s all about the practice.
So Noah’s English is a bit obtuse at times. We’ll give you that. However, you’ll have to admit his his memory is as sharp as they come. For here we come to Part Two, Soviet-Era Heavy Transportation:
A month and a half ago, Noah’s Grandma Leep gave him an original copy of the Antique Locomotives Coloring Book.
Now, The Antique Locomotives Coloring Book is a coloring book like a corvette is a clown car: It’s extremely detailed: no bolt was too small to leave out, no embellishment too unimportant. Beneath each black-and-white line-drawing is a brief one or two sentence description of each train.
It has, to be exact, 42 trains, starting with the first steam train, the 1804 Trevithick, a ends with a modern 2500-hp GE diesel.
Noah has learned them all.
And by learned them all, I mean he can tell you about each and every one.
“Trevithick” he’ll say for the first one.
“English Blenkinsop” he’ll say for the first locomotive put into commercial service.
He’ll rattle off the names of trains that have names: “Rocket,” “Lafayette,” “Best Friend,” “Cumberland,” “Philadelphia,” “The Experience,” and so forth.
For trains that only have countries in the descriptions, he’ll say the name of the country: “British carriage car.” “That train made in France.” Or “That train for India.”
And he’ll do this for all 42 trains. My favorite is the big Russian train near the end: “That a big big Russian train with a big star.” He hasn’t learned the Soviet part yet, but I’m sure he’ll be adding that part any day now…
So, next time you’re around, ask Noah about his trains. He’ll be happy to show you.
But, please do us a favor: don’t ask about Deanowishenzeit.
A New Day
Welcome to the new home of the Tol Family Blog! After a few years on Wordpress.com, we began to feel a bit stifled by their limited designs, so we decided to move it to a new self-hosted blog.
Blah, blah, blah, I know, I know, you don’t really care about the technical details. Well, suffice it to say, it’s the same great Tol wisdom and wit, (or lack there of), just on a different spot on the old internets, with a different domain name. So, remember to change your bookmarks to TolHouseBlog.com. And enjoy!
Tol House Ten
Okay. This post is a complete cop-out. Let me just ‘fess up to that from the start. But neither Brian or I have had much time to blog lately, and I felt the need to put something on here. So this is the dealio: I’m making a list of our ten favorite blog posts from the past year.
I know, I know. You want fresh content. The normal wit, humor, and wisdom you’ve come to expect here at the Tol House Blog. And you’re going to get it–it’s just recycled. See? We’re earth-friendly. Going green on the blog.
So save the planet and read an old post. Or just leave a rude comment about our lack of original material. Either way, we hope you’ll be entertained. Here they are, in no particular order:
1. Farewell, Tom - most commented story of 2008: a real-life story of drama, heartache, and the QB that got away…
2. Growing Pains - a recent favorite, just because I love the way God teaches me things through everyday life
3. Colorado Stories: The Wake-up Call - ah, sweet Colorado memories…
4. Ethiopia Facts: Wildlife - this post attracted a comment from an Ethiopian living in London!
5. Watch Out, Man, or the Fuzz is Gonna Getch’a - summer memories of Holland’s finest
6. Dreaming - I love this one for the videos of precious kids at the end.
7. Quirked - because what’s better than a little odd self-revelation on your blog?
8. Security Breach - strange, but true!
9. Colorado Stories: Oscar - entertainment courtesy of the Colorado wildlife
10. Colorado Wisdom - yeah, we milked the Colorado trip for some of our best blog material of the year…
10b. Seismic Shift - okay, I’m cheating on the top ten, but I want to throw this post on, just for the picture of Noah. 
And because he’s so stinkin’ cute, here are some of our favorite videos of Noah:
2. Master of Cupcake Destruction
If all else fails, maybe you’ll be entertained by this rare post from Mocha the Cat: