Colorado Stories: The Wake Up Call
Time for yet another Colorado Story:
You can file this one under “Funny. And by Funny, I mean Awful.”
So, you know how some events are really annoying when they happen? But then, with some time and counseling, they just seem funny? Well, this might be one of those for me… someday. But not yet. Frankly I’m still a bit annoyed at some Hoosiers for this one. Maybe you’ll agree at the end of this little tale.
First, some background. You might recall that we stayed at Quaker Ridge, a Christian camp north of Colorado Springs. Lovely place with a awesome view of Pikes Pike.
Not quite as tall, but much closer to Quaker Ridge, is Soldier Mountain, roughly 9,200 feet above sea level. More importantly to us, it’s about 1,000 feet above Quaker Ridge, and a hike from Quaker Ridge to the summit is about 4,000 feet.
That’s right: 4 feet forward, 1 foot up. Not a walk in the park. And, actually, the last 300 feet are more like 2 feet forward, 1 foot up.
On loose rocks.
The view, though, is worth the work. Here a view from the top. Click the picture for a larger version.
This picture was obviously taken during the day.
The rest of this story takes place a night.
For, you see, one of the “perks” of staying at Quaker Ridge is sleeping out, under the stars, at the top of Soldier Mountain… and I can’t emphasize enough how much “perks” is in air quotes. Big, giant, raise-your-hands-above-your-head, stand-on-a-chair, air quotes.
Now, for the record, I like camping. Did it most of my life growing up. I don’t mind tents, I don’t mind sleeping out underneath the open air. I don’t mind hiking, or climbing, or sleeping bags. I enjoy waking up to a great sunrise.
So, I really like the theory of sleeping out underneath the stars at the top of a mountain in the middle of the Colorado wilderness.
But, as Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut said, “In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.”
First of all, it’s camp tradition to leave around 11:00 pm to sleep at the top of the mountain.
So, let’s keep track of this all: 1,000 feet, loose rocks, 11:00pm. We actually got off a bit late, like 11:30. So, 1,000 feet, loose rocks, 11:30pm.
On the hike up our youth group quickly diverged into two teams: the quick team, and the not-so-quick team.
Amy and I were in the non-so-quick team. Team Quick made it to the top of the mountain by Midnight. Team Not-So-Quick got there about 12:35.
1,000 feet, loose rocks, 11:35 depart, 1 hour hike.
And, because there is no Soldier Mountain Hilton, you need to — literally — dig in once you get to the top. Oh, and being, you know, a summit, there’s not a lot of level ground up there. So you want to make sure your head is facing uphill, so you don’t pass out.
Let me tell you: you haven’t lived until you’ve tried tried to make 6 feet of semi-level ground by pulling out roots and tossing rocks. In the pitch black.
1,000 feet, loose rocks, 11:35pm, 1 hour hike, roots & rocks, face up hill.
All told, we actually did a fairly good job getting settled in. The kids were real troopers, and Keith, our more experienced youth leader, made sure we were far enough from the edge as to not fall in.
I’m pretty sure everybody was asleep by 1:00… or so. Ahem. Alden, I’m looking at you.
Well, our group was asleep. Little did we know that, just a few short hours later, another group would be waking up.
For you see, around 4:00am, the group from West Lafayette Indiana was waking up.
To climb up the mountain.
To watch the sun rise.
—
Recall, if you will, Team Quick. Their time up the mountain: 30 minutes. Our Hoosier, er, friends, also had a Team Quick. A very “joyful” Team Quick. And by joyful, I mean highly annoying.
Team Quick Indiana made it to the top of the mountain around 4:30am, and decided they needed to encourage their follow group members. So, they started yelling, in words seared into my memory, “Way to go guys! You can do it! Woohoo!”
I’m not 100% sure they knew we were there at first. We were only 20 feet away, but it was pitch dark.
However, I’m fairly sure they saw us by the time Team Not-So-Quick Indiana made it to the top around 5:00am.
And I’m down-right certain they saw us by when Team Really-Slow Indiana finally showed up around 5:30am.
1,000 feet, loose rocks, 11:35pm, 1 hour hike, roots & rocks, face up hill. Dumb Indiana kids yelling at the top of their lungs at 4:30am.
Now, it would be one thing if they kept moving up the mountain. There was, after all, an extremely nice spot about 150 feet beyond us that was wide open and perfect for a group their size.
But, no. Instead, they decided to mill about, among the sleeping bags, talking about how dumb it was to get up at 4:30 to watch a sun rise.
—
So, two groups of tired, annoyed people milling about at the top of a short mountain in Colorado.
What could go wrong?
Well, maybe, perhaps, one of our kids might have suggested that Team Indiana move along. I’m sure he was polite.
And, one if their leaders, mistaking our kid for one of his own, might have suggested our kid go take a long walk off a short pier.
Tired and annoyed had turned into a big pile of awkward.
And thus, we waited for the sunrise.
Which, in hindsight, was totally not worth it, because the sun comes up on the other side of the mountain, behind some trees. So it’s not really a sunrise, as much as a big bag of bright.
—
After a while, our Indiana friends tried to do some devos. And we packed up our gear and started back down the mountain.
1,000 feet, loose rocks, 11:35pm, 1 hour hike, roots & rocks, face up hill. Dumb Indiana kids. Pile of Awkward. Another 1,000 feet.
On the way down I happened to pass the leader who had suggested the pier. Despite the situation, I felt bad we had given them lip. So I decided some peace pipe was in order, and I apologized on behalf of our group.
He mentioned something about “yeah, I didn’t know it was your kid” (as if it was ok to suggest peirs to his own kids?) and that was that.
But, right as I turned to continue down the mountain, he made the offhanded comment: “You know, if I learned anything tonight, it’s that you shouldn’t sleep so close to the edge of the mountain.”
—
And that, my friends, is why West Lafayette Indiana is no longer welcome in Holland, Michigan.
Colorado Wisdom
So I’m dreadfully behind in the things I’d like to blog about. It’s been nearly three weeks since our return from Colorado, and I’m just now starting to write about it. But really, I just needed time to recover. To ponder my experience. To reflect on the wisdom I gained.
And just what did I learn from a week in Colorado with teenagers? Here are a few highlights:
1. When sleeping on top of mountains, it is wise and appropriate to set booby traps for any who might rudely interrupt your sleep.
2. If you are feeling nauseous to start, it’s downright stupid to sit backwards for a drive up Pike’s Peak.
3. When cocky teenage guys tease you about your age, you should respond by rock climbing higher than they can.
4. When floating down a whitewater river, you don’t want your guide to fall out of the boat.
5. Never underestimate the romantic mystique of the mountains—and its effects on teenagers.
6. Our schools need to teach better geography lessons. (Kansas or Colorado, Alden?)
7. The birds in Colorado start to sing at around 4:50 in the morning. The hairdryers in a girls camp cabin start singing at around 5:35.
8. Paintballing is painful and brutish. But fun.
9. There are two menaces at the Quaker Ridge Camp: One is a bear. The other is their coffee.
10. Holland Heights has a pretty cool group of kids. And I’m excited to hang out with the crew at EDGE this fall.
Like Brian, I can’t quite cram all the fun of Colorado into one blog post, but hopefully my Colorado Wisdom will give you a small glimpse into our week at camp. And on a serious note, I really enjoyed watching God at work in our students: I didn’t quite realize how much I missed youth ministry until I was back at it again.
Mostly, I loved Colorado because it reminded me how big God is. The mountains. The amazing people I met. The answered prayers that far surpassed my expectations. They all point to an amazing Creator and a faithful Friend. And it’s Him who deserves the real credit for all the laughs and adventures and conversations that made Colorado the special week it was.
Colorado Stories: Oscar
Time for the first of those Colorado stories I promised you all. In the lead off position we have: Oscar.
Actually, this is two-stories in one. Look at me be the over-achiever.
I mentioned in my first post that we stayed at the beautiful Quaker Ridge Camp overlooking mighty Pikes Peak. It’s a powerful and tranquil place: lush evergreen foliage, Pikes Peak in the background, and a wonderful little pond in the middle of it all. (Actually, the pond will make an appearance in an upcoming story…)
Quaker Ridge’s beautiful comes at a price, though: it’s way the heck off the main highway. I mean, way off. After you turn off of C-67, you drive up a bunch of switch backs. Then you drive up a bunch more. Then you slow way down, take another hard right, and drive up a few more.
And that’s when you pass through the gate to enter the camp’s property.
The gate, though, is false joy (like a certain presidential candidate I can think of). The gate is, like, only halfway to the actual camp.
So you drive up a few more switch backs, take a few more hard curves, and finally you arrive.
Hopefully you get the picture: downtown Manhattan it ain’t. You’re in the middle of nowhere. Sure, it’s absolutely beautiful nowhere, but it’s still nowhere.
And where you get nowhere, you also get wild animals: birds, chipmunks, squirrels, teenagers, bears… you know, the usual.
Actually, we bused in the teenagers, so I guess they weren’t so wild. Or, at least, they know how to pick up after themselves. Most of the time. (More foreshadowing there, folks.)
I’m fairly certain the bears were wild, however.
The first bear showed up around 6:00pm on our first day: he wondered into camp, looking for some bear fast-food–otherwise known as a trash can.
Now, when you see a wild bear, in the wild, what is your first instinct? Mine is to stay away–far, far away. I think that’s healthy and normal. I trust you agree.
Teenagers, on the other hand, have an odd sense of courage stupidity. When our friendly bear showed up, more than a few kids — mostly guys — walked towards the bear. In fact, quite a few of them. Here’s the proof:
I take some comfort that the kids in this picture weren’t from Holland Heights — I’m pretty sure they were West Lafayette Indiana. (Even more foreshadowing.)
This was doubly stupid because this particular bear–the camp staff nicknamed him Oscar–was obviously a cub. Mamma bear was out there, somewhere, lurking about. Luckily for us all (especially our geniuses from Indiana) Oscar knew that Mamma didn’t like fast-food, and therefore snuck into camp without her knowing it.
The camp staff was extremely professional, and promptly encouraged Oscar to move along through the use of loud noises.
Bear #2 (I never learned his name) showed up on day two around 9:30pm. He, too, was looking for a tasty trash can. This time a camp staffer treed him with more loud noises and a broom. (Really folks, I’m not making this stuff up: it was a college kid and a broom: nuttiest thing I’ve seen in a while).
Again I ask, what would you do with a treed bear? And, again, I would suggest staying away is a pretty good idea. And, again, some of the teens had a different idea. We actually had kids walking underneath the tree to take pictures.
Scared bear. Bright flashes. What could go wrong?
Thankfully, the camp staff was johnny-on-the-spot, and prompted encouraged the teenagers to move along through the use of more loud noises and a broom. (Ok, I made that part up: it was just loud noises.)
Oscar showed up for a second time on day three. This time the staff decided their insurance wouldn’t cover our teenagers, so they used a few louder noises (blanks from a shotgun) to encourage Oscar and friends to find a different fast-food joint. It worked: we didn’t see the bears again for the rest of the week.
So that was the end of our live bear sightings. But that’s not the end of our bear stories:
On Wednesday our group drove to the top of Pikes Peak (which was in-and-of itself an eventful trip). On the way there we stopped for gas in Manitou Springs, a sleepy little town outside of Colorado Springs.
On the way through town, we passed a store that specialized in carved bears. Here’s an example:
(The bear is the one of the left.)
That got the kids talking, and the conversation when something like this:
“Hey, there’s one of those carved bear shops.”
“Yeah, those are cool. We should get a bear for our youth group room at church.”
“Yeah! That would be awesome. We should call him Oscar.”
Laughter.
At this point, our fellow youth group leader Dan, aka Hefty, got a wry smile on his face, and piped in:
“Yeah, that we be cool. We should get a crouching bear.”
Puzzled looks.
“Why’s that, Hefty?”
“Because then we could call him Oscar. The. Crouch.”
And… SCENE!
Westward Ho! Or, how we survived a week in Colorado with 200 teenagers
Ok, it wasn’t really two hundred teenagers. Well, it was, but we were only responsible for about 10 of them.
Actually, I was really working, so Amy was responsible for 10 of them. Here’s the scoop:
A few months ago Amy and I were asked to be high school youth group leaders at Holland Heights CRC, where we’ve been attending for a year or so. Despite all the changes going on, we felt called to become leaders. The only hitch? They really wanted us to come up their summer trip to Colorado.
“What?” we said. “Colorado? Now? Are you crazy?”
In hindsight, we realized that’s a dumb question. Of course they’re crazy–you can’t hang out with gang of teenagers and not go crazy. 
So, despite some reservations about the timing, we said yes. And, on June 22, we set our sights for Colorado. Five states, 20 hours, and a brief overnight stop in Kearney Nebraska later, we arrived at Quaker Ridge Camp for 7 fun-filled days of physical and spiritual challenges.
Actually, I should explain that last part: while we were staying at Quaker Ridge, our hosts for the week where actually a group called Colorado Challenge. These nut jobs great guys put on the event every summer, and mix outdoor activities with a great series of challenging spiritual messages. And the worship music wasn’t bad, either.
And by “outdoor activities” we’re not talking put-put golf. There was whitewater rafting, mountain climbing, repelling, paint ball, low high ropes, more mountain climbing, mountain biking, and keeping down the camp food.
Ok, so that last one isn’t really an outdoor activity, but it was a challenge.
(Actually, the food was fine, but I couldn’t resist the cheap joke… Okay, and actually there was put-put golf. …but did I mention the mountain climbing?)
The week was too full to capture in one measly blog post, so I’ll post a few stories later this week. For now, check out our photos from the week. And here’s a map of some of the places we visited, in case you want to check them out.