Questions
Wow. It’s been five months home with Annie already. Hard to believe in some ways. In other ways, it feels like she’s been here for longer. I think we’ve all settled into the “new normal” here at the Tol house. It’s a busy, tiring, hold-on-and-try-to keep-up-with-the-kids kind of normal–but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Part of our new reality, of course, is that we’ve become a more conspicuous family. For better or worse, we’ve dived into the world of an adoptive, bi-racial family. Before Annie’s arrival, I’d read a lot about the unique issues and struggles we might face. In particular, I’d been dreading the inevitable rude, bizarre, or unthoughtful comments that many families have had to endure from strangers. Now, I’m on the other side of the adoption and all those things I read about are becoming reality.
I do feel like we get “noticed” a lot when we are out and about. Honestly, I can’t go to Meijer with the kids anymore without being stopped by at least three people to comment on how cute Annie is. (The thoughtful folks include Noah in their compliments.) And perhaps I’d be hearing the exact same comments even if we we had the same color skin. A few people have asked where she was adopted from, which I don’t mind. And I continue to be amazed by how many people are fascinated by little black-girl hair. (Funniest comment I’ve heard so far about Annie’s hair–which was parted and put in little puffs: “So did her hair come that way?” I think it was just the inquirers way of trying to find out if I did her hair. But really?!?)
For the most part, I haven’t minded any of the questions or attention. But there’s one question that drives me absolutely crazy, and I guess I feel the need to vent (and maybe educate) a little bit. The question that raises my blood pressure is this:
“So what happened to her parents?”
I’ve heard this question in various forms. And I hate it. Why? Well, here’s the thing. I’m guessing most people aren’t really intending to be nosy–they probably just want to show interest in our adoption. But when you stop to think about it, that’s an incredibly personal question. For every child who’s been adopted, there’s a story that brought them there–and it’s never a happy story. Think about it. When you ask an adoptive parent “So what happened to the parents?” or “How did she get to the orphanage?” the answer is always going to involve some pain, some tragedy. Most of us don’t go around broadcasting our tragedies to the world. They are personal and painful, and we only share them with the people we trust most. For Annie’s sake, Brian and I want to limit how much of her story we share and who we share it with. It’s her story–we want her to decide how she shares it when she grows in her maturity and understanding of the past.
This really struck me in a powerful way recently when we were at a graduation open house. There I was, sharing some cake with Annie while chatting with a stranger across the table. They asked where Annie was from. “Ethiopia.” They asked how old she was when she came home. “About a year.” Okay questions. Nice small talk. But then this: “So were her parents killed or something?” Seriously? First of all, my daughter is sitting right next to me. And I know she’s only one and a half, but why would you say something like that in front of a child’s listening ears? Secondly, if her parents were in fact killed, do you really think I would want to talk to you about that (with Annie listening in?!). And thirdly, my daughter’s personal family history is none of your business!
Okay. Sorry about that rant. But I guess this is one of those aspects of adoptive parenting that’s going to be frustrating for me. How do you handle questions like that from strangers with truth and respect? I don’t want to lie. And I’m not trying to “hide” the truth because we’re ashamed of it or anything. But it’s Annie’s story. And I’m not about to throw it out there just because someone’s curious.
I just wish more people would understand that and think through what they’re asking when they want to know about a kids’ past. Adoptive kids (and their families) have a history to deal with–a bittersweet history because one family is born out of the pain of another family. I’m an adult and I’m still struggling with that reality. So please don’t bring up that history with me–and especially with my young child–when you don’t really know me. It’s personal. It’s painful. And I don’t want to talk about it at the grocery store or while I’m eating cake at an open house.
So there you have it. My simple plea for the day: You can comment on Annie’s adorable cuteness all you want, but please don’t ask me to share her story. Its hers. And with God’s grace, I will help her learn it, wrestle with it, and treasure it. And then, when she’s ready, she can decide if she wants to tell it to you herself.
Hunger
I was scolded today for my lack of blog posts lately. (A gentle, much-needed scolding.) So here I am, sufficiently repentant for my absence. And for today, I thought I’d share a little bit about something I’ve been doing on Facebook lately: Begging.
Yes, I’ve been using the infamous social-networking site as a place to plea for money. Here’s why: I’m a youth group leader at my church and next weekend I’ll be joining our teens in World Vision’s 30 Hour Famine. It’s a pretty simple concept, actually. We’ll go without food for 30 hours, and in the process we hope to heighten our awareness about hunger and poverty–and to raise some money to fight it along the way.
Now I’ve always been a fan of fighting world hunger. (Who isn’t?!) But there’s something about going to Ethiopia and seeing “world hunger” in reality that has put a new scar on my heart. When you sit in a “taxi van” on the dusty streets of Addis and see a child begging at the window–hunger clear in his eyes–it does something to you. You don’t forget eyes like that. I can’t begin to tell you how many times my mind wanders back to Ethiopia and all I saw while we were there–how many wrestling matches are currently going on in my mind and heart as I reflect on my situation in life compared to those I saw in Addis.
I’ve been home for three months and I still can’t wrap my mind around it all.
But the pertinent point for today is that my Ethiopia experiences have lit a fire in me where this 30 Hour Famine is concerned. I don’t just want a random weekend of fasting so I can go on with my life and feel like I did my part for world hunger. I want this experience to create more hunger–in me and hopefully the students who join me–a hunger to care, to notice, to bring relief to the millions who struggle with poverty, hunger, and disease.
And so I decided to use Facebook as a venue for finding Famine sponsors. And in the past couple of weeks, I’ve updated my status about a dozen times with some variation of “Would you be willing to give $20 to feed hungry kids. Learn more at My World Vision Fundraising Page.” I even came up with a clever “20 for $20 Campaign” to make things interesting: Could I find 20 Facebook friends to give $20 apiece as my 30 Hour Famine sponsors?
Honestly? I didn’t think it would take so long to find twenty sponsors! But it’s a busy time of year for people. A lot of folks have been gone for Spring Break. And I know there are always causes and people looking for money. And my appeals for money have probably gotten swallowed up by more exciting posts and pics on the Facebook news page.
But I can’t forget about those eyes. Those small hands making an eating gesture and looking up at me with an appeal for help.
So I’ve kept begging for money on Facebook. I’ve kept checking my fund-raising page each morning to see if anyone else has decided to sponsor me. And since I haven’t reached my 20 sponsors yet, I’ve gone back to my Facebook status again and again, trying to come up with a new way to keep asking for the same thing: money for hungry kids. And here’s how I’m starting to feel: I’m sick of begging. I’m tired of swallowing my pride and making yet another appeal for sponsors. I’m starting to wonder if everyone else on Facebook is sick of my begging too! Are they getting annoyed with my constant pleas for money? And who am I to ask anyway, when so many of my friends and family already give so much to various people and causes?
In the end, here’s what has happened. I started out this Facebook “20 for $20″ thing thinking it’d be a “fun” way to get a few donations for the Famine. And instead, it’s become an interesting lesson for me about begging. If this is how I feel after a few Facebook pleas for cash, what does it feel like for the people who literally beg for food every day? What kind of hunger must you feel to keep holding your hand out day after day, even as you suspect the people passing by are annoyed with your presence?
So here’s the deal. I saw people starving in Ethiopia. People who don’t have clean water to drink, much less a Facebook account or a laptop to blog on. They really don’t have a voice here. They don’t have any way of sharing their story with you or asking for your help. But I do. And so for today, I just want to be a voice for them. And here’s my humble plea: Would you consider helping the hungry?
Maybe you can sponsor me for the 30 Hour Famine. (Yes, there is a small ulterior motive to this post.) Or maybe you do something else, and that’s good too. But whoever you are, wherever you are, if you are reading this in a home that has food in the cupboards, would you take a minute to think about the people who don’t have that luxury? And what that must feel like?
I know that, personally, I have a lot to wrestle with here. Nearly everything I buy these days feels extravagant compared to the way many in our world live. And that’s hard. How much do I give away? What’s okay to keep? What can I justify buying when 26,000 kids die of hunger every day? Hard questions. Ones I would rather ignore. (And sadly, sometimes I do.) I don’t have any answers here. I haven’t achieved the right balance. I just know that it’s important to keep wrestling for it. To keep hungering for the right way. And inviting others to join me along the way.
Thankful
I just got back from my first run of the season. Yes, that means I am a fair-weather runner. I can’t quite bring myself to run in the cold, especially when I might risk breaking my neck on the snow-covered sidewalks. (And with my natural bent toward clumsiness, you all know I’d be likely to wipe out on the ice, repeatedly.)
At any rate, I didn’t hop on the blog to write about running. It was the thoughts racing through my mind during my run that prompted me to finally break my recent blogging silence. It’s been busy around here, trying to find the “new normal” of life with a new person in the home. Obviously, I haven’t made the blog much of a priority in recent weeks. But today, I’m just feeling… thankful. Blessed. Filled to overflowing with God’s love. I guess I just felt it appropriate to let it pour out a little here on this tiny corner of the Internet. (God knows the Internet could use a little more of his grace, right?)
So here’s what I was thinking about today. First of all, it’s hard not to rejoice when you live in Michigan and get to enjoy your first tastes of spring. I started my morning at the coffeeshop (a little editing work to do) and watched an employee take down the winter wreath on the wall and replace it with a cheerful spring swag. I swear the flowers winked at me as she hung them on the wall. Then, as I left my morning Bible study, feeling blessed by the sweet community I shared with my small group, I heard birds chirping away all around me. After lunch, I headed out for a wagon ride with Noah and Annie, and much to my delight, I got to stop and point out the first crocuses poking their hopeful purple heads out of the ground.
I guess that’s all to say I was feeling pretty darn blessed even BEFORE I got to my run. After successfully getting both kids down for a nap (another reason for deep gratitude, to be sure!), I decided to head out for a run. My first since early December, when the cold wind finally blew me and my running shoes into the house for the winter season.
As I started feeling the familiar rhythm of my feet on the pavement, I started thinking about all the many times I went running last year. All the many times I prayed as I ran. (I pray a lot when I run: Being a mother has forced me to multi-task.) I especially thought about all those prayers for our child in Ethiopia.
Last spring, we’d never seen her face–or even knew if she was born yet. Late last summer, we got our first glimpses of her sweet smile in our referral pictures, but still knew little about who she really was. We had yet to hold her in our arms or watch her toddle across a room. We knew about her, but we didn’t know her. And so all I could pray was that God would hold her for me–keep her safe, keep her healthy, help her feel loved, even though she was thousands of miles away.
Much of our trip to Ethiopia feels like a blur to me. It was such a whirlwind of activity. There were so many emotions swirling around my heart and mind. And since I only managed to get an hour or two of sleep each night, I simply became exhausted, emotionally, physically, mentally.
Amidst all that haze, I have one vivid memory. We were sitting at Shalom–the orphanage/home where Annie had lived during all those months. It was the day before Ethiopian Christmas, and all the children had received small trinkets to play with. The air was filled with the happy sounds of children’s laughter and play. The weather was gorgeous. Sunshine and a soft breeze wafted into the home’s courtyard, where the Bethany staff had set up a going-away party of sorts for the families who were there to adopt their children. Within minutes of our arrival, one of the nannies asked me if she could hold Mulu (Annie) again. And soon she was whisked away into the home, where the nannies began to playfully “fight” over who would hold her. The staff served us some simple refreshments and of course, traditional Ethiopian coffee was roasted and brewed for the occasion as well.
I just remember looking at this home–Shalom–and realizing that I was looking at the answer to all those prayers. This was a beautiful home: A lovely two-story house with indoor plumbing and a kitchen in a city where most people live in shanties and cook outside. The children had blankets on their beds. And the nannies seemed to have plenty of smiles and hugs for the children. Annie was loved there. She was safe. She was taken care of. Just as I’d prayed about so very many times.
So back to today. And the realization that my prayers have changed pretty drastically since that last run in December! No longer do I pray for someone else who is watching my child: I pray for the love and wisdom to care for her myself. No longer do I wonder what her personality is like or how she’ll respond to her new family: I now get to watch her at play and listen to her say “Mama, mama” as she walks my direction. I tuck my little girl into bed for naps now. I sing her silly songs and dance with her in the kitchen. I know that she loves yogurt and hates mashed up peas.
Do you understand why I started wiping away tears during my run this afternoon?
There’s much I have yet to unravel when it comes to processing this whole adoption process. The experiences we had in Ethiopia are simmering in my heart. And I have yet to master all the puzzles to this process of adoptive parenting. But for today, I just want to say this: I am thankful. Awed by God’s answer to all those many prayers I lifted up while my feet were hitting the pavement.
I admit that sometimes I feel ungrateful. There are days when I whine to Brian and just long for a break from being “mommy”! And other times, I start to doubt. To feel unsure about my ability to be a good wife or a good mom. To wonder how all the pieces of my life will fit together.
But this I know: God has always been faithful. And when I really open my eyes to the ways He’s been at work in my life, I can’t feel anything but gratitude. And renewed strength to keep running this race He’s marked out.
Settling In
Well, we made it! It was a long journey back to the States, but after about 33 hours of travel, we finally greeted our family at the GR Airport on Saturday afternoon. Annie was a good little traveler. She didn’t sleep the whole way by any means, but we were able to keep her entertained and content in between some naps along the way. Too bad the four-year-old a couple rows over wasn’t quite so cooperative! It was a long, long day of travel, and I’d say today is the first day I’m finally feeling “myself” again, instead of the jet-lagged dizzy variety of Amy who’s been stumbling around here the last few days.
Thank goodness for coffee is all I have to say.
As for Annie, she’s doing as well as can be expected. She’s been clingy and crying easily, but that’s understandable given that her entire world was just turned upside-down. She’s also been extra tired because she’s not quite in our time zone yet. Waking up around 4:30 or 5 in the morning makes for a long day! Today was a good day, though. She seemed to be a little more like the happy-go-lucky baby we met in Ethiopia. She really is a joy when she’s busy playing and interacting with the family. She smiles so easily and enjoys just watching her busy brother playing around her.
I know many of you are eager to meet Annie. And we are eager to show her off. This girl has a closet full of cute clothes from her grandmas and aunties, so trust me when I say she’s looking adorable every single day. But for now, the saying “all dressed up and no place to go” will have to rule the day. Annie needs time to adjust to us, our home, our life. She needs to feel safe and secure and settled into our routine before we start introducing too many new experiences and faces to her. I know she’s young, but even at her age, there’s awareness of big change. Just consider that since last week, she now deals with:
- people who look different
- foods that taste different
- a language she doesn’t understand
- different smells
- different surroundings
- different time zone
She lived in a world where diesel fumes permeated the air and goats roamed in the front yard, where Amharic flowed from the lips of her nannies and she slept in a room with several other babies. As out of place as I felt last week in Ethiopia, at least I knew I was coming home at the end of it all. Annie’s out of place now, and I feel for her–because even though she’s in a good place here, I imagine she has to wonder if she’s going back “home”, or if we are just another set of caregivers who will pass her on to someone else.
Well, I guess I must be tired because I’m rambling on a bit. But all this is to say that we are home, we’re adjusting, and we’re just taking our time to let Annie settle into the Tol family. Thanks for all your ongoing thoughts and prayers. We are so blessed to have such supportive family and friends.
All About Annie
We’re all packed up and ready to head to the airport in a few hours. In the meantime, I thought I’d try to pass the time by checking on my e-mails one last time. I noticed quite a few comments from friends and family who are getting anxious to meet Annie. I kind of forget that even though our wait to meet Annie is over, the rest of you are still waiting! So I thought I’d leave a little post with some tidbits we’ve learned about the little lady:
- Annie is pretty happy-go-lucky. She’s done well with all the changes in her schedule this week. For the most part, she’s content and happy unless she needs food or sleep.
- Annie’s got a cute smile, and she gives it pretty easily when she’s not too sleepy. I think she’s already got Brian wrapped around her little finger. But for all the smiles, I haven’t really heard her giggle yet. Something tells me Noah will find a way to bring that out in her!
- Annie is quite small. The 12 month clothes I brought her fit pretty well. (Well, except for the jeans that don’t adjust around her waist. It was pretty funny when I attempted to put a pair on her. I think I could fit two of her waists in those pants!) Her shoes, on the other hand, were a problem. I brought size 5s, and she came with size 3s on from the orphanage! Looks like we’ll be doing some footwear shopping when we get home.
- Annie is a lazy eater. Whether it’s bottles or cereal that we try to feed her, she just takes her time to eat. Maybe that’s why she’s so small!
Well, speaking of Annie, she just woke up from her morning nap, so I think I better log off. Can’t wait to introduce you all to her in person soon!
Ethiopian Christmas
Merry Christmas from Ethiopia! We’re enjoying a nice, laid-back day after several days of busy scheduling. Due to the Christmas holiday today, the Bethany staff here ended up front-loading all our activities into the first three days of the week. We’ve taken in a lot of sights and experiences and it’s been great to learn about Annie’s country. But it’s also been kind of hectic handling a one-year-old in a foreign country when we’ve completely obliterated any sort of nap schedule for her! Thankfully, she’s been good at catching cat naps in the van. (It’s nice and cozy when she can just sprawl out on our laps instead of being captive in a car seat!)
We’ve been with two other Bethany families throughout the week and we’re all staying at the Morning Coffee Guesthouse. Nesibu and Bertukan, who operate the guesthouse, have been amazing hosts, really making us feel at home throughout a stressful process. They have an amazing heart for the orphans of Addis, and I could write a whole blog post just about them, but I’ll leave that for another time. Nesibu and Bertukan have four children. Then we have one Bethany family who adopted a 9-month-old, and the other family adopted two kids, an older 1-year-old boy and a 5-year-old girl. Put them all together and there’s eight kids hanging out around the place most of the time! It’s noisy, but joyful place to be.
Here’s a look at the activities of our past few days:
Sunday: Attended church with Nesibu and Bertukan in the morning. Lunch at the guesthouse, and then visited a nice restaurant in the evening at a golf course, where the kids had some room to run around.
Monday: We started by visiting the Bethany office in the morning, and then we went across the street to the Shalom Transitional Home, where Annie was staying before we came. They took us to a nice resturant for lunch and then we spent the afternoon sight-seeing, visiting Entoto Mountain. There were lots of interesting historical things to visit at the top, as well as panoramic view of the city. (Largely obscured by smog, though.) On our drive up the mountain we saw dozens of women hauling huge bundles of brush and sticks on their backs. They gather this every day and then take the very long walk down to town, where they’ll sell the bundles for the equivalent of about US $2. It’s just one of the many, many sights that remind us of the incredible poverty here. But on the same drive, we also saw colorful markets filled with traditional Ethiopian clothing, people chatting with neighbors as they buy from local shops, and school children laughing as they walked home in their uniforms. There’s much to love in this country, even amidst the overwhelming poverty here. Again, there could be a whole blog post just about my impressions of Ethiopia, but I’m still trying to sort through it all. Not quite ready to put it all into words…
At any rate, Monday ended on a great note: We got to bring Annie back “home” with us to the guesthouse and get her settled into our room.
Tuesday: Tuesday morning we visited Gelgela orphanage, one of the orphanages that Bethany partners with here. Annie spent a short time here, so it was valuable to see, though difficult too. It’s heartbreaking to see so many kids without a family. The orphanage does the best they can with the limited resources they have, but still, it’s not a home. One little boy tried to climb in the van with us when we left–it was hard to drive away.
Tuesday afternoon was our embassy appointment. We waited for quite a long time there–about two hours. Thankfully, Annie didn’t get too fussy and she fell asleep on my shoulder toward the end our wait. This was the ultimate reason for our visit to Ethiopia: The embassy issues the visa we need to take Annie home. After all the waiting, we went up to a window, answered about five questions, signed some papers, and it was done. Quite a feeling of relief! The embassy agreed to issue the visas for all the Bethany families, and we could pick them up the next day.
Tuesday night, the Bethany staff treated us to dinner at a traditional Ethiopian restuarant. We dove into the injera (Ethiopia’s trademark food) and tried out a bunch of different dishes. We also got to see some great entertainment, music and dances from the various Ethiopian tribes. And of course, we had the coffee and popcorn that go along with any traditional meal here in Ethiopia. Thought it was an exhausting day, it really was nice to end Tuesday at the restuarant, celebrating the rich history and colorful culture of Ethiopia.
Wednesday: Wednesday morning we visited a museum about Ethiopian history and then did some quick shopping at a market. I really hate shopping in this kind of environment–having to barter and being flocked by people who spot foreighners as an easy market for their wares. But it’s our only chance to buy items for Annie from her birth country, so I went to town. Brian just stood back while I grabbed scarves and dresses, and then I left him to do the bickering on price. Don’t worry though, he got to pick out a few things too, including a traditional Ethiopian coffee set. (I think coffee and popcorn must become a new Tol house tradition!)
Wednesday afternoon we returned to Shalom Children’s home one last time for a farewell party with all the kids there, the nannies, and the Bethany Staff. Mulu was really loved there, I think. I saw the nannies fighting over who would get to hold her and play with her during our visit. It was a really special party, and I felt incredibly grateful as we sat in the courtyard and watched the children playing and laughing with the nannies. I prayed so many times over the past months that God would care for Annie and fill her life with love and peace. And I saw Shalom as the answer to that prayer as I watched the children enjoy special treats and saw how much the Bethany staff loved on them while we were there.
And that brings us to today, which is Ethiopian Christmas. It’s been nice to just hang out here at the guesthouse and let Annie get some much-needed napping done! We started the morning with a massive plate of traditional Ethiopian bread (Christmas bread, as Nesibu called it.) And we were also treated to a very nice traditional Christmas dinner at lunchtime. Have I mentioned what amazing hosts we have here?
Tomorrow we pack up and head to the airport in the late afternoon. And then a really long day of traveling! If all goes as planned, we’ll be back in Michigan late Saturday afternoon. So keep sending up those prayers for smooth flights and no delays as we travel!
We’ve really enjoyed our time here, but we’ve also been missing home a lot. Living out of a suitcase with a one-year-old in a third world country isn’t an easy thing! It’s been one of the most difficult, but also wonderful experiences I’ve ever had. Thankfully, Brian and I have been staying healthy, although we’re definitely behind on sleep. (No big surprise to us with the addition of a one-year-old to our room!) Poor Annie’s got quite a cold, though. After we picked her up from the transition house on Monday, she had fever for a couple days. The fever seemed to break yesterday. So keep our little gal in your prayers that she can get over all the coughing and congestion she’s dealing with, especially with a long plane ride coming up for her tomorrow.
Well, this has been quite the post, I guess. Thanks for keeping up with us on this journey we’re on. We can’t wait to get Annie home, introduce her to her big brother, and get started with our new life as a family of four!
Time to Go
That’s it. I just double-checked my packing list. And after throwing in a pair of shower shoes and one extra baby bath towel, I declared us officially packed! We leave in the morning for one of the greatest adventures of our lives.
God’s been so good to us every step of this journey. Sometimes I still can’t quite believe he’s guided our footsteps to a baby girl in Africa. With every year that passes by, I continue to be humbled and thankful that God’s plans have often been bigger than my own tame dreams.
Well, there’s a lot stirring around in my heart, but for tonight, I just wanted to put together a few of our prayer requests before we leave. I’m convinced that prayer is powerful and real. And though we can’t take all our friends and family along with us on this journey, I do hope to travel in a cloud of your prayers!
Our requests:
1. Annie–This little girl has already experienced so many changes, so many losses. We just long for her to feel love and peace in the midst of this huge transition that is coming. Pray that she’ll be able to adjust smoothly, and that she’ll feel she can trust us quickly.
2. Bonding–Pray that Annie will bond with us, and we with her. We know this will be a process, but we’re hoping it will take off with a good start during the coming week.
3. Traveling Mercies–All the million travel details: Safety on flights, no delays, no lost luggage! (especially all those amazing toys many of you helped me make. That tote better make it to Ethiopia!) And it’s probably asking a lot, but if God could bless us with a sleepy baby girl on that long ride home, we would be most blessed!!
4. Health–Many families have struggled with some sort of health issue either during or after their trip to Ethiopia. It is a third world country, and of course that means that health conditions are often less than ideal. Pray that God will spare us and Annie from any sickness.
5. Sleep–I know I mentioned this in my last e-mail too. But really, I just pray that we get enough sleep so we can enjoy our time with Annie in Ethiopia. It’s hard to make the most of a trip if you’re exhausted the entire time, so I’m hoping we’ll be able to get some rest. (Or at least some very good coffee to keep us going!)
6. Noah–Our little guy is staying with Grandpa and Grandma Tol this week. I’m sure he’ll have a great time there, but I also know this will be a huge change for him. We’ve been talking about it for so long and I pray that the week will go by quickly for him until we can come home. Pray for him to adjust well as he becomes a big brother. And pray that his mommy won’t miss him TOO much while she’s in Ethiopia.
7. Teamwork–Okay, so here’s the thing about long trips and sleep deprivation: They can make me a little cranky with my spouse. (Hmm… I hope it’s okay to confess that on the blog.) I love Brian like crazy and am so blessed to have him by my side on this journey. Yet it’s easy to take out frustrations on the people closest to us, isn’t it? So please pray that we’ll have patient and work well together, even when the weariness sets in.
Thanks again for all the support and prayers. We look forward to our next update coming while we are on the journey!
Getting There…
It’s getting close! I’ve been weighing suitcases and practicing some phrases in Amharic. Getting Noah packed up and double-checking a million little details. And in two days, I’ll be on a plane to Ethiopia! It’s hard to comprehend it all. In less than a week, I get to hold my little girl in my arms. God is good.
But as I prepare to greet my new daughter, this week I’m also saying a good-bye. My sweet Grandma Russcher passed away on Sunday, rather unexpectedly. She’d been suffering from Alzheimers for several years, so we take great comfort in knowing that she is “herself” again–in Jesus’ very presence. It’s nice to imagine her now, peaceful and free from all the confusion that plagued her in these last years.
I will miss you Grandma. Your smile and your quick laugh. Wish I could’ve seen your eyes light up when you met Annie for the first time. So many precious memories surface at a time like this. But a blog is hardly the place to sort out my feelings about gaining a daughter and losing a grandma in the same week, even if I though I could find the words.
So I guess I’ll end by sharing a few specifics about our travel plans, for those who are interested in that sort of thing. We fly out on Dec. 31st (Thurs.) Here’s our route, via American and Emirates airlines:
Grand Rapids to Chicago
Chicago to JFK
JFK to Dubai (12 hour overnight layover there)
Dubai to Ethiopia - arriving around noon on Jan. 2
It’s crazy to think that we’ll be spending a night in Dubai on the way over. Thankfully, we won’t have to deal with that on the way home. It’s just one long day of traveling on the way back. We’ll leave around 7 pm on Jan. 8 and get back to Michigan in the late afternoon on the 9th. The flight home is one of the things I’ve felt most nervous about all along. It’s a long day to travel with a one-year-old who barely knows us. (Or we her.) Prayers for on-time flights and a good ride with Annie would be appreciated. But if we end up with a screaming baby and delays the whole way, I have to trust God will give us the grace to deal with that as well.
Well, before I sign off, could I leave one quick prayer request for today? Please ask God to bless us with good sleep in the coming nights. I often struggle with insomnia leading up to a big trip and I rarely have any luck sleeping on planes, so I could use a little divine help staying rested for the trip. I know Brian had a rough night last night and ended up getting up VERY early b/c he couldn’t get back to sleep. So we’d really appreciate those prayers. We just want to be at our best as we help Annie through this huge change in her life–and sleep makes such a huge difference.
Speaking of which… I think I’m off to dreamland for the night. Big day tomorrow with the funeral, saying good-bye to Noah, and final packing.
God Smiles…
Well, everything has shifted here at the Tol house: We are full tilt in travel mode because we received our travel call yesterday! We will be leaving for Ethiopia on January 31st and returning on January 9th. (Flights are still pending, but that’s what we’re hoping for.) It’s incredibly surreal to finally be planning this trip that we’ve looked forward to for nearly two years.
In the midst of all our preparations and plans, we’ve noticed God’s fingerprints all over the place. Here are a few of the fun coincidences that must bring a smile to God’s face:
1. Christmas! Several months ago I got this kind of crazy idea in my head to buy a bunch of toys from Oriental Trading Company that needed to be assembled/painted/sewn together. I thought it would be fun to get a bunch of friends and family to help me work on them, pour love into them, and then bring them over to some of the kids in the orphanages when we visit Ethiopia. So, over the past weeks I’ve had lots of helpers (35+ at last count) help me with sewing puppets, painting race cars, making teddy bears, and stringing beads on little bracelets. I have quite the collection of toys to pass out!
Now when I started hearing from others who’ve traveled, a lot of them seemed to bring more “practical” items (diapers/toothbrushes/medicines/etc.) I was feeling a little bad about all my frivolous toys. But here’s the fun part: We will be in Ethiopia during their Christmas. Since they use a different calendar, they celebrate Christmas on Jan. 7, which means we will be passing out all those little toys right around Christmastime! And I have sneaking suspicion God had that in mind all along when he planted that crazy toy idea in my heart.
2. Immigration Papers. Okay, let me start this by giving you a random fact about Amy: I served as an intern for Congressman Hoekstra’s office my fall semester of college. I got to do various interesting tasks, but a good deal of the work that got passed my way involved filing papers and entering data for their Immigration Liason.
Now, fast forward ten years to yesterday. We got a travel call to visit the US Embassy in Ethiopia on January 5. Great news, EXCEPT that there was still a form we needed processed by Citizen and Immigration Services (CIS). We needed that form approved in order to travel, and fast. Without speedy approval, we would’ve had to delay our travel plans.
So… it was time to get some congressional help in beseeching the good folks at CIS to hurry along on approving this form. I called the office, and lo and behold, I’m suddenly talking to the very person I used to work for as an intern. Only this time, I’M the one needing congressional help with CIS! We had a good laugh about that one. But thankfully, everything got straightened out very quickly and we now are clear to travel next week!
3. Coffee. So here’s a little thing. I’m a little addicted to coffee. It’s hard for me to kick things in gear without my morning dose of sweet caffeine. And so, as I thought about travels to Ethiopia, I was curious how available my morning cup of joe would be. It IS the land where coffee was “discovered”, so I wasn’t too concerned. But still… coffee is an important part of my physical and emotional well-being.
So we’re staying at a guesthouse in Addis Ababa, and here’s part of the description of their amenities: “Coffee available at any time.” Any time! Oh glory! I will be fully caffeinated on this amazing African adventure we are about to embark on!
All these wonderful, sweet “coincidences” remind us that God has had his hands in these plans all along. I’m still humbled to think how he has chosen to knit our little family together. And though I’m feeling some nervousness about all the travel plans and adjustments to come, it’s so reassuring to know that God is smiling on us as we go. We covet your prayers for peace, health, and sleep as we prepare to bring Annie home.
Note: I’m hoping to create a “prayer requests” post later this week for those of you who want to be our prayer warriors while we travel and adjust. Check back in a few days if you’re interested.
Dear Blog
Dear blog,
There’s no way around it: I owe you an apology. As the rhythm of everyday life has picked up, I’ve left you stranded like a homely teenage girl on the side of the dance floor. (And I should know how it feels b/c I was once that girl “sitting out” the slow dances!) I’m so sorry to have neglected you for so long. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?
I know, I know. I’ve made promises before. “I’ll blog more” “I’ll do more updates.” “I’ll update my computer to Windows 7 so I don’t need to mutter incoherently about Vista’s gross incompetency while I write new entries…” You’ve heard it all before. So this time, no promises. But for today, I thought I’d take you for a quick spin around the dance floor.
Oh dear. I’m so sorry. “Balancing the checkbook” just tapped me on the shoulder and asked if he could cut in for this dance. And I believe “Laundry” has the next slot on my dance card. . .
Sincerely,
Amy