Deanowishenzeit and Blenkinsop
This is a two-part post. Let’s call Part One Lucky Draw:
Back before we had Noah, I would marvel at a parent’s ability to understand the proto-English of their toddlers. I’d see a two-year old waddle around church, make some seemingly incoherent phrase, tug on their ear, and be amazed when his or her dad would say “sure, you have have a cookie at Grandmas when we go there Tuesday.”
Cookie? Grandma? Tuesday!?!? All I heard was “okie anders pooses.”
At the time I thought it was love and focused attention only a parent can provide. “Man, what a great dad!” I’d think.
Now I know it’s not as much love as much sheer will power and practice. Lots and lots of practice.
Case in point: A few Sundays ago Amy, Noah and I were hanging out in the living room, playing trucks, Geotrax and blocks. (BTW, Noah loves his Geotrax. Especially in combination with the said trucks and blocks.)
We somehow ended up drawing blocks, trains and other things for Noah on his Doodle Drawer thinger.
“Draw a train, Mommy!” Noah would ask, and Amy would draw a train.
“Draw a truck, Daddy!” And I would draw a truck.
This went on for a while, everything going smoothly, until Noah raised the bar. I guess he thought the $100 and $200 “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” drawings were beneath me and Amy’s ability, so he jumped right to the $1 million demand:
“Draw a Deanowishenzeit!”
Amy looked a me. I looked back at Amy.
“Noah, what’s a Deanowishenzeit?” I asked.
Noah decided not to explain using words, but rather by raising his voice, again asking: “Draw a Deanowishenzeit!”
“Honey,” Amy said, “can you tell us what a Deanowishenzeit looks like?” Noah, again decided use more volume instead of more words.
“Deanowishenzeit! Deanowishenzeit! Draw Deanowishenzeit!”
Well, needless to say, we didn’t have a clue. Was it a train? A plane? A tractor? The answer to life, the universe and everything? (Noah has been coming along with his numbers, so 42 wasn’t out of the question.)
(Mom, go here to get that joke… We’ll wait…)
“Noah, we’re not sure what a Deanowishenzeit is. Can you use your words to tell us?”
“No,” Noah thought, “I will not use my words to tell you. You’re on your own here, folks.”
Well, I think that’s what he must have though, because all we heard was “Deanowishenzeit! Deanowishenzeit! Deanowishenzeit!” He was getting increasingly serious about it, too.
So, not sure how to proceed, I thought I’d go for it. I was going to draw a Deanowishenzeit. And I was going to make it the best darn Deanowishenzeit the world has ever seen.
But where to start, having never actually seen a Deanowishenzeit? Well, luckily Noah’s sphere of experience is relatively small. I was fairly certain Deanowishenzeit wasn’t Grandma or Grandpa. It probably wasn’t a cookie or blankie.
Knowing Noah’s love for all things that have big wheels, I decided it must be a cross between a truck, a tractor and a bulldozer. So I dove in with a tractor-ish thinger with wheels and large black things at the front and back. (Why not, right?)
I ended up with this, my first ever Deanowishenzeit.
I showed it to Noah, and to our great relief, he was very pleased with the result. “Deanowishenzeit! Deanowishenzeit!” he shouted, a great big smile replacing the earlier shouts.
Then he added “Deanowishenzeit, knock over building.”
Knock over building? A light bulb went on in Amy’s head.
“Noah, is that a demolition site?” she asked.
“Yes, a Deanowishenzeit” Noah responded, with a three-year old’s “duh” look in his face.
As it turns out, Noah had not been asking for a tractor-train-truck thinger. He has been asking for the demolition site from one of his Mighty Machines videos.
Practice, folks, it’s all about the practice.
So Noah’s English is a bit obtuse at times. We’ll give you that. However, you’ll have to admit his his memory is as sharp as they come. For here we come to Part Two, Soviet-Era Heavy Transportation:
A month and a half ago, Noah’s Grandma Leep gave him an original copy of the Antique Locomotives Coloring Book.
Now, The Antique Locomotives Coloring Book is a coloring book like a corvette is a clown car: It’s extremely detailed: no bolt was too small to leave out, no embellishment too unimportant. Beneath each black-and-white line-drawing is a brief one or two sentence description of each train.
It has, to be exact, 42 trains, starting with the first steam train, the 1804 Trevithick, a ends with a modern 2500-hp GE diesel.
Noah has learned them all.
And by learned them all, I mean he can tell you about each and every one.
“Trevithick” he’ll say for the first one.
“English Blenkinsop” he’ll say for the first locomotive put into commercial service.
He’ll rattle off the names of trains that have names: “Rocket,” “Lafayette,” “Best Friend,” “Cumberland,” “Philadelphia,” “The Experience,” and so forth.
For trains that only have countries in the descriptions, he’ll say the name of the country: “British carriage car.” “That train made in France.” Or “That train for India.”
And he’ll do this for all 42 trains. My favorite is the big Russian train near the end: “That a big big Russian train with a big star.” He hasn’t learned the Soviet part yet, but I’m sure he’ll be adding that part any day now…
So, next time you’re around, ask Noah about his trains. He’ll be happy to show you.
But, please do us a favor: don’t ask about Deanowishenzeit.